Q&A
I've got questions and hopefully you've got answers. I am coming to all you to help me with two big problems I need help with. Please share your experiences and lesson-learned, so i can get past these challenges in my life.
PROBLEM #1
My 5 1/2 year old still isn't potty trained at night. She sleeps so hard that nothing wakes her up. She has even wet her bed and slept in until 9:30 the next morning. So, even letting her have accidents doesn't wake her up. What am I to do? I have tried waking her up before I go to bed and she does wake up dry (most times), but is that really teaching her anything or just making me feel good that she is dry the next day.
PROBLEM #2
My 3 year old won't eat anything. Her diet consists of cereal and crackers, go-gurts and milk and peanuts. I used to be able to get her to eat chicken nuggets, but that is it. She always says she is hungry, but will only snack on crackers and cereal and I am tired of feeding her garbage and always having her always telling me she is hungry. I need her to eat more and better... it seems like she is eating less and worse each day.
QUESTION - Who has had Lasik surgery? I am thinking about getting it and would like to know everyone's experience and opinion.
Any advice from all you moms/women out there would be greatly appreciated. I am at a lose and need to get past these childhood problems. Thanks!
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25 comments:
Hi. My name is Amy. I am answering question #1. :)
I have 5 children- 4 are potty trained. My second oldest-a boy- is almost 8 years old and he still wets his bed. At his 6-year well-visit the pediatrician checked a urine sample to make sure it wasn't an illness and it wasn't. Late bed-wetters is hereditary so if you or her father were late bed-wetters then that is working against you.
I did the waking him up thing before I'd go to bed and it helped half the time. I didn't (and still don't) give him any liquids after 7pm. I'd get mad and have to change his sheets in the night.
I finally realized that it's not his fault. I decided to buy Underjams for him. It made my life and his easier. If he wets it he can change it himself. He rarely wets through them so I'm not changing sheets as often. The pediatrician said he is a heavy sleeper and usually they outgrow it by AGE TEN! That's a long ways away but there is hope in sight.
Sometimes it's not your fault or theirs. Getting mad at them doesn't do any good. It makes them feel bad for something they can't help. Not to mention it embarrasses them a lot! If you can afford it I'd start buying the underjams. If they wake up dry you can re-use it for a second night.
Hope this helps.
i haven't had any experience with potty-training yet (mine are still in diapers), but i've heard other moms say to put underwear on, then pull-ups on over those and they won't like the feeling... she might sleep through it, but maybe ??
as for the food- have you tried anything from the cookbook deceptively delicious? great recipes for the whole family...
good luck!
I have really picky eaters at my house, too. One thing my 2 year old love to do now, is to have her lunch in a muffin tin. I put deli-sliced turkey, apples, cheese chunks, chips, torn bread, etc into the tin and we call it her "cuppy cake lunch". Sometimes I'll put cup cake liners in there, too. When my kids go through a really picky time I let them watch TV while they eat - the distraction somehow helps them to eat more. Good luck!
Good advice from Amy. I like that underwear product she's talking about. The other thing is that you have to be consistent. If you wake her up before you go to bed, then you have to consistently do that every night, and then hopefully something physiologically will happen - maybe if done enough times and done consistently, an inner alarm will sound off and awaken her. It's worth trying. Sorry to say, but boys can be harder to train at night. It took years for both of my brothers to get trained at night. Take advantage of any latest products and tricks that are available. It's like medicine, if it's available and you need it, use it. And adjust your expectations. Amy is right - you'll be happier and so will your children. Been there, done that - MOM
Suggestion #1- I'm not above bribery...and it worked to help keep my daughter dry thru the night. My husband and I would tell her, "if you stay dry all night for a whole week, you can choose any toy from the store." If she asked for a toy she saw on tv, we would say again,"if you stay dry all night." Also, limit sugar-y drinks too close to bedtime.
Suggestion #2 - I'm impressed with what she will eat! I read in a magazine, food is all in the presentation and attitude. Change the way it looks, or what you call it, and it might help. For example: plain celery could be filled with cheese or peanut butter and called crunchy cool sticks. Cut apples in half horizontally and edges to create a "star" and call it star fruit. My Daughter loves to dip her food, so I always give her peanut butter, ranch, ketchup, etc. and at least it gets something in her little tummy!
Hang in there - this too shall pass. You'll blink your eye, and they will be asking for the car keys! :) I love your blog!
I'm coming out of lurkdom to make a little comment. :) I agree completely with what Amy said about the bed-wetting. When I was younger, I had that problem and believe me--I was not doing it on purpose or because I was lazy and didn't want to get out of bed in the middle of the night. I just wouldn't wake up. I did outgrow it mostly by 8 or 10, but every once in a while even until age 12 or so I'd wake up with wet sheets. Definitely a little embarrassing for a young girl, but my parents were really patient and understood that it wasn't my fault. To this day, it's still common for me to get a full bladder at night and have to get up for a trip to the bathroom (at least I can wake myself up now!!). :)
http://www.med.wisc.edu/news-events/news/wetting-the-bed-could-be-all-in-the-head/332
This article helped me a lot. Me and my husband both wet the bed pretty late. We both grew out of it. It's usually a brain maturation thing.
I hope this helps.
I love your blog.
#1 No real advice, but it may be that her bladder just needs to mature some more. I was a late bed wetter. I have very clear memories of wetting the bed until around age 7. Not my most pleasant childhood memory, but it did pass with time. I like the idea of a pull up over underwear - less mess for you, but she'll still feel it.
#2 My 3 yr old loves loves loves junk food, but sometimes puts up a fight for something more healthy. Sometimes it helps to explain in easy terms why she needs the healthy food. There was a cereal she wouldn't eat - she wouldn't even try it. So I explained how the fiber in the cereal helps her go to the bathroom, and that stops her from having a bad belly. She loved knowing that eating this cereal will help her poop!
Hope that helps!
I have a very picky eater. My pediatrician advised offering healthy snacks, but not forcing it, or giving in with something that isn't healthy. He promised me she wouldn't starve, but when she got hungry enough she'd eat and i've found it to be true (but hard to put up with the whining at first.) When she tells me she's hungry I offer her fruit, cheese or whole wheat toast. If she doesn't accept I know she's not really hungry. I think she says it a lot when she's bored or needs some one-on-one attention too. So I try to take some time to spend with her. I've also had to adjust to an earlier dinner time with the kids, before dad gets home. They eat a lot better instead of snacking. Then, if they want to eat a little more when we eat that's okay too, but at least they're not full of snacks when I want them to eat a good meal. They're usually more pleasant during dinner too, and I'm not worried if they're eating enough and we can focus a little more on daddy time.
I know that boys and girls are different, but I have two grown sons that were bed wetters. The first one was about 8-10 when he finally stopped. I know he wasn't lazy. He always got up and bathed changed his bed and washed his sheets. He just couldn't help it. My second son was 14. He never cared. I took both to the Dr. DDAVP-don't know if they still use that- was a miracle for the first one. Nothing helped the second one. I went to specialists and everything. Finally, his Dr. promised me that he never sent a boy on a mission who wet the bed. Puberty was the answer. Pull-ups helped with scout camps. He took them inside his sleeping bag, inside a ziplock bag so that he could change without anyone knowing. Looking back, somethings I would do differently..
Disposable diapers are great, they hold tons and keep the child dry. Good for most, but I'm not sure about a bed wetter-change them often keeping them totally dry.
Pull ups- i totally think they only prolong the problems! If a child is old enough to pull-up their own pants, they can pull them down. All in all you have to do what works, be sensitive, respect the child. I think the underwear under the pull-up might be a good solution.
Last of all patience and love, knowing it is more common than you think.
I know that boys and girls are different, but I have two grown sons that were bed wetters. The first one was about 8-10 when he finally stopped. I know he wasn't lazy. He always got up and bathed changed his bed and washed his sheets. He just couldn't help it. My second son was 14. He never cared. I took both to the Dr. DDAVP-don't know if they still use that- was a miracle for the first one. Nothing helped the second one. I went to specialists and everything. Finally, his Dr. promised me that he never sent a boy on a mission who wet the bed. Puberty was the answer. Pull-ups helped with scout camps. He took them inside his sleeping bag, inside a ziplock bag so that he could change without anyone knowing. Looking back, somethings I would do differently..
Disposable diapers are great, they hold tons and keep the child dry. Good for most, but I'm not sure about a bed wetter-change them often keeping them totally dry.
Pull ups- i totally think they only prolong the problems! If a child is old enough to pull-up their own pants, they can pull them down. All in all you have to do what works, be sensitive, respect the child. I think the underwear under the pull-up might be a good solution.
Last of all patience and love, knowing it is more common than you think.
I love your blog!! Sorry you are having problems with bedwetting. A couple of things I did was limit the amount of liquids I gave her before bedtime. Nothing after dinner (our dinners are early 4:30 or 5 pm). I made sure she went to the potty before bedtime and then took her before I went to bed. I also put two sheets on the bed (plastic sheet protector, sheet, plastic sheet protector, sheet). That way when she had an accident at night I just had to rip off one set of sheets and magically there was another set there. Hope that helps.
I too have problems with picky eaters so I'm interested to see what others have to say.
When my son was young I put him in pull-ups at night. They worked great and he never woke up with a wet bed. I know it seems horrible now but your daughter will get past her bed wetting in time. I've never know a high student who wets his/her bed...just something to remember when you feel you want to pull your hair out.
As for the eating issue. I was a hard nosed mother when it came to dinner time. We all sat together at the table and my kids had one choice and that's what I made for dinner. If they didn't want what i made they could go without. If you give in to their demands of wanting snack food you've lost the battle. What kid wouldn't want goldfish over green beans. My kids didn't have to finish their food but they at least had to sit there with good manners and attempt to eat what was in front of them. I was raised old school and I guess that one was passed along.
there is some great advice here already, but i have dealt with all three issues you are talking about and thought i'd share.
i have two sons that have had potty issues (seems like) forever! the oldest is now 13 and no more problems, but it has cleared up only in the last year or two. i tried everything and anything and nothing i did changed the night issue. i have just realized that they need to grow up and figure it out on their own. my 9 year old is still struggling every once in a while, but he is old enough that he deals with it on his own- bed, pants and all. i truly believe they just have to grow up.
we have picky eaters too. i am for the old school- sit down to dinner and everyone eats when and what is fixed. they have to try at least 3 bites (from my 18 yr old to my 6 yr old). if they don't like it, fine, but nothing after dinner then. my problem is my 6 yr old. she sneaks treats from the pantry all day and then doesn't want anything decent. i think there will just always be something...
as for lasik- i have terrible eyes and have thought about getting it done too, but i know way too many people that it hasn't helped. my mother-in-law and an aunt and a few friends have all had it done. usually it just changes your prescription and i am not going to pay for someone to cut into my eye for nothing. i am waiting and hoping they come up with something better someday. i've already had to have emergency eye surgery and don't look forward to doing it again. esp when contacts work for me fine right now.
i just realized that i didn't have any solutions. i guess i just wanted you to know that you're not alone... :)
Hello:)
I too really enjoy your blog!
My advise is towards the lasik. It was the BEST investment my husband and I made! He got it first and had worn glasses since elemntary. I had mild vision as a young adult, but we were both active and wearing contacts and glasses wasn't fun. It also was great for my husband's profession. I would recommend visiting with a few different dr.'s. Most consultation are free! There are different procedures for different eyes. All dr.'s policy's I have heard will repeat surgery if it doesn't "take" with the first surgery. I know 2 people that had that happen, and their sight was very poor to start with. It took some adjusting just like when you first are finding your correct perscription.
I also have no doubt something bigger and better will come along later. Then when I am older and relying on reading glasses, they hopefully will have a great procedure for that! I personally have 4 family members and 2 friends that have had it. Like I said 2 had to repeat the surgery on 1 eye but everyone really enjoys their new found freedom!
I hope that helps, good luck to you!! (Sorry for the novel!)
I just thought I’d throw in my 2 cents, since I’ve dealt with all three issues:
#1) My Son (who is now 15) wet his bed until he was 10. YES 10! He didn’t even start waking up from the ‘accidents’ until he was 8 years old. Around 8 he would wake up but it was always a bit too late. At that point he would just get up and change himself and his sheets. At about 10 he was able to get up and use the bathroom. I think it may have been combo of sleeping really hard and also a terrible fear of the dark. We had to reassure him LOTS and put night lights everywhere.
My Daughter is the same age as yours (5 ½) and she is the exact same way that her brother was. She sleeps so hard at night that she wets. She wears pull-ups at night and I am fine with that. I figure, she’ll out grow the bed wetting like my son did. I do praise her and reward her if she stays dry all night but I don’t make a big deal about it if she doesn’t. We also started limiting her liquids after 6pm and making sure she goes potty right before bedtime.
If there is one thing I’ve learned (or should I say...been reminded of) from both of my children, it’s that they are all different and they all achieve “milestones” (if you will) at different ages.
#2) My Son’s diet from age 2 ½ to almost 4 consisted mostly of Gerber Baby Turkey Sticks from a jar. He wouldn’t eat veggies (except for tomatoes, which techically is fruit) and he would hardly even drink milk. He did like cheerios but that’s it. Seriously. What I learned from that was... 1) It didn’t kill him and 2) He outgrew it. He’s now a VERY healthy eater at 15 years old. Ok, seriously eating me out of house and home healthy eater!
My Daughter eats anything and everything now BUT right from the beginning, I always said to her (when she turned her nose up at any food) “You only have to take one bite, chew it up and swallow it and if you REALLY don’t like it at all, then you don’t have to eat anymore." That became the “rule”. Now, I swear that child will eat anything we put in front of her.
#3) Lasik ROCKS! I have 20/20 vision now after being super near sighted! It has been successful for literally EVERYONE I know that's had it done. I'm talking 12 people here. Seriously. Not one bad incident.
I am also coming out of my lurking place. I am an ophthalmic nurse (7 years – worked in Utah until hubby went to med school) and I would have to say that Lasik is great if you have a doc that knows what he is doing. A lot of tests go into your screening (pachymetry, topography, and a dilated eye exam, being out of soft lenses for 6 weeks and hard lenses for 8-15 weeks depending on how long you have worn them. Don't let anyone tell you less than that. The cornea needs to rest.). Sometimes you will have to go in and check the Rx a couple times to see if you are a good candidate.
If a doc is out for just #s then the Sx won't be successful. You can have "regular" lasik or "custom" lasik based on your screening results (you can be a candidate for one or both, custom being more expensive). You don't wear glasses for distance vision after lasik. If people do then there was obviously something that went wrong (although in our office there were a few cases in some patients that their Rx was so high --minus 13 and over-- they knew the Lasik wouldn’t make their vision perfect, but it would make their glasses a lot thinner (cuter) and their Rx would be less in the long run, but not "fixed. They chose to get the procedure done anyway.)
When people reach a certain age (usually between 35-60) they start to loose their reading vision (presbyopia)and have to use readers. Your doc will (hopefully) take this into consideration when doing your exam. There has been great success in getting Lasik for distance and then CK for your reading vision (mono type vision procedure using the CK on only one eye). You really have to check out your docs and use an ophthalmologist for your screening. Don't be afraid to talk with several before you make a decision. Be aware of procedures with prices that seem to good to be true. It is $1250-$2000 per eye on average. Modern medicine is great. I wish you luck! I hope this helps a little.
Jen
Hey Sis -
Can't help with problem #1 since we just finally figured out how to get Walker to poop in the toilet. :)
and
#2 - Finally i got sick of walker not eating anything! Seriously he's just like Ella. So one night when I was too tired to fix him, yet again, a different meal. I put four bites (no reason why just 4) on a plate and told him that he had to eat these 4 bites. I told him if he didn't, then I was going to take him to the doctor's and they were going to feed him the food through a needle (scare tactic - does that make me a bad mom?). That night he literally gagged his way through those 4 bites. Now every night he has to eat 4 bites of whatever i fixed for dinner. I don't give him anything else. If he's still hungry then he can eat some more dinner. He's usually fine after those 4 bites. He's so stubborn though. We've been doing this for a month and it's STILL an ordeal. He dry heaves as he chokes those little bites down and he always has to drink something with the bites. Last night he asked if he could hid his bites in bread. I don't know, but whatever works. Good luck!
I had to comment because my 5 1/2 year old daughter is going through the same thing. It is SO frustrating. We have gone back and forth on the pull-up thing and it really doesn't change the fact that half of the time she will wet the bed. I finally got so sick of washing the sheets so often that I am back on the pull-up bandwagon. I figure that at some point she will just outgrow it! Also, whenever I get together with my girlfriends (and end up spending the whole evening talking about our kids), this and many other issues always some up. I have realized that most of the things my kids struggle with are common to the rest of the group.....and here in blogland too! Good luck!!
#1. My sister has been struggling with this issue with her 7 yo and her pediatrician recommended a bedwetting alarm. Just google it and you'll get hits. Her pediatrician used them for 3 of his boys and it worked for all three.
#2. My boys all went through a picky eater phase and all survived. I think it's part of them discovering that they have choices and they can decide (within reason) what they like and don't like. Obviously, they'd choose to eat cupcakes, candy and soda all day if you let them, but they will come around.
3. Lasik was one of the BEST decision I've ever made. I had it done 5 years ago and would do it again in a heartbeat. Just make sure you check out your doctor well and get some local recommendations from others who've had the procedure.
GOOD LUCK!
I was given your blog address by a friend of a friend--Katie Taggart. You do amazing stuff. ANyway, wanted to comment on Lasik. I have wanted to do this for years, but have one warning about it. My friend who had it done had her eyes go back to being bad now that she is having children. She is going to have it done again after she is done having children, but for now she has to wear glasses and can't wear contacts. So, if you are done having kids--go for it, but you could possibly have your eyes regress if you are still having kids. Just something to think about.
Amy in AZ
My cousin also would wet the bed and sleep right through. My Uncle would have to go in and wake him up every night at 10:00 pm and then would also go in at 2:00 am for another wake up trip to the bathroom. They also tried not letting him have anything to drink after 7:30 at night. It took several months... but he did "grow out of it". Good luck!
I have had bed-wetters (and still have one more to go), and it can be so frustrating. For my oldest, my pediatrician recommended the bed-wetting alarm, and as chaotic as it was for the first little bit, it worked so great. We got ours at the www.bedwettingstore.com, and we got the one that clips on and that vibrates and alarms. They also have a pad that goes across the mattress that really helps cut down on having to change the entire bed. It's a little pricey, but you may need it for more than one child and it's only the price of a few months of pull-ups. Well worth the price! Good luck!
I am a nanny with many years in child development. I had a few thoughts about your picky eater.
I would never tell a mother she was a bad for parent for doing what she thought was best for her child but I am super agaisnt forcing a child to eat or letting them go with out if they refuse. Having said that you are not a short order chef either.
I believe it is important for a child to have done say in what they eat, after all, we choose what we eat. Try offering a choice or two in with the meal. For instance: We are all having eggs this morning. Would you like an orange or blueberries with breakfast? Explan that these are the options the child has.
I agree with the parent whose said children will often say they are hungry when bored. I find myself in front of the fridge when I having nothing better to do. Offer a healthy snack and again make it a choice. Not too many options because that can be overwhelming.
I believe that if a child had some say in what happens to them (in most aspects of their lives) they feel valued and respected. You'll get a better response and s positive relationship that way. Healthy eating habits should be developed young. Set a good example, as I am sure you already do, model good eating.
And most importantly, don't stress about it to much. Any of it. None of it makes you a bad parent. The fast that you do worry, is a clear sign you are s good one!
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